A DIY divorce?
Deciding to end your marriage and get a divorce is extremely difficult, and this can be made even more difficult because of the financial impact of a divorce on you and your family.
The costs involved in using a solicitor can feel overwhelming and can often mean couples stay together longer due to the financial constraints of divorce. The other alternative to staying together is a DIY divorce. This involves completing the process with little or no help from a solicitor.
For many people this seems an attractive option but there are some points you should take into account before deciding if this is the right route for you.
The first and most important consideration when getting divorced is the financial split, particularly if you have been a stay at home parent, whilst your spouse has been out at work. This situation would result in you having limited earning power and probably no pension. If you were to divorce on a DIY basis, you may find that you don’t receive a fair settlement for the role you have taken in the family. Whilst the divorce is not about the money, it is about ensuring that you both leave the marriage with a share that is fair.
A DIY divorce may not be for you if your relationship has become acrimonious prior to your divorce. This is because you will have to reach agreement on a number of issues such as access to the children, the sale of the house, where the children should live and many other issues directly without the assistance and guidance of a specialist family lawyer to ensure the settlement or agreement that has been reached is fair and appropriate in your circumstances.
You may decide that you would like to do some of the divorce yourself, such as completing the divorce petition and filing it with the court, but it is important to recognise the issues which you may need specialist help and advice for.
We at Elthorne Solicitors are specialist family lawyers with a breadth of knowledge and experience to assist you thorough the divorce maze. Contact us to find out more.
Read MoreNuptial Agreements
To marry or not to marry…
Our family solicitors here at Elthorne Solicitors, are often asked whether it is financially better to marry or to not marry but just to live with your partner.
There is no clear cut answer, as there are advantages and disadvantages to marrying or not marrying your partner and you will need to decide which is best for you.
Whatever the circumstance or the choice you make in terms of your relationship, to prevent there being any uncertainty in terms of what happens to assets held in your sole name, to assets held in your joint names, to your inheritance, to your pension, you can enter into an agreement with your partner setting out very clearly what should happen to your financial assets in the event the relationship ends.
If you are marrying, then you would enter into a Nuptial Agreement. If you are wishing to live together then you would enter into a Cohabitation Agreement.
At the end of a relationship, if either party seeks a different outcome other than what is contained within the agreement, the Court is very likely to take into account the terms of the agreement, as long as the agreement has been drawn up in compliance with certain criteria.
Elthorne Solicitors are experts in dealing with such situations as well as drafting such agreements, tailored to your specific needs, to provide you with the certainty and clarity that you need. Our Solicitors can also provide you with the legal expertise you need if you are already facing a dispute from your ex-partner. We are here to help. Contact us to find out more
Read MoreProtecting Children
Protecting your children through a divorce or a separation or divorce can be emotionally draining for everyone involved, especially the children. As a parent, you will want to try and minimise the negative impact it may have on them. With a little understanding, you can help them through this difficult time.
Tell your children what is happening
There is no easy way of breaking the news to your children but if they are old enough to understand, it is important they know what is happening.
Do try to tell them about your decision together and where possible discuss what you are going to say beforehand. You can reassure your children that although your relationship is over you are still their parents and you will continue to be involved in their lives.
Be open, keep talking and listening to your children and let them know that it’s OK to discuss the situation and to ask questions. Let them know that their opinions and feelings matter and are important to you.
Try to minimise the stress
Although it’s not always easy, do try and keep the relationship with your partner civilised. The conflict between parents can be very upsetting and confusing for your children. They may react differently depending on their age, personality, and the individual situation.
Insulate your children from adult concerns and responsibilities
Your children cannot understand the complexities of divorce and separation. Don’t burden them with the responsibility of making decisions about the arrangements for them and who they would like to live with.
Keep to their usual routine
Where possible try to carry on with their usual activities and daily routines. Things will change with the family living separately but the more normal your routine remains the more stable your children will feel.
Reassure them
Children often think that it is in some way their fault that you have separated. It is very important to keep providing them reassurances that all will be ok and that you both love them.
If you would like to discuss your particular situation with one of our specialist family lawyers, we are an experienced and committed team. We understand and can guide you through each stage.. We provide sensitive but objective advice which takes into account the emotional as well as the financial aspects of separation.
We offer a free 30-minute initial consultation, where you can have an informal chat with one of our expert family lawyers about your circumstances. Contact Us to find out more.
